Diaries of a B2B Resident: Mexico

12 Steps in Zihuantanejo 

I never imagined that I would get a chance to work through the 12 Steps in Mexico. It’s been great to get a break from the usual meetings in Flagstaff. Hearing all the different experiences, strength and hope that the participants in Zihuatanejo had to offer, was awesome. Experiencing and taking part in a slightly different format of meeting and hearing the Zihuatianejo residents and fellow tourists has been really interesting and fun. Compared to the meeting rooms in Flagstaff, the room here is fairly small, which I feel makes the meetings a little more personal because it’s easier to focus what’s being said. All the people we’ve met down here are really nice and they are always happy to see young people, like us, in a program.

The meeting here works a little bit different than the meetings we attend back in Flagstaff. First off, we sit in a circle so we are all able to look at whoever is sharing. Also, for our topic we do the reading out of the Daily Reflections book, which is nice because that is the book we use at home during our morning meditations. We don’t really get a chance to do a formal meditation here, which I really enjoy at home. After the reading we pass the book so everyone can read the passage for that day, and then we share going around the circle. I enjoy this style of sharing, as opposed to pulling tickets and tag sharing because it gives everybody a chance to speak. Since the meeting is downtown Zihuatainejo we will walk to a local restaurant for dinner. Roy and Graciela are friends with a lot of the people in the meeting, so we went out to dinner a couple of times with their friends and talked about how they ended up in Zihuatianejo. I heard some really interesting and inspirational stories during my time here in Mexico and I hope I can return one day again as a sober community member.

- B2B Resident

 Surfing in Mexico

Even though I’m from California, I have almost no experience surfing, so it has been a really fun learning experience while here. We’ve been surfing every morning since we arrived in Mexico and I am steadily improving with the help of one instructors Edgar. Edgar is an incredibly helpful teacher and an extremely nice guy, and he made my time in the water very enjoyable even when I’m struggling. On my first day I could barely get out to where the waves break and I couldn’t even sit on the board and balance. Once I got out to the waves Edgar would tell me where on my board to position myself and when to paddle. Since I’m not able to paddle very well, Edgar would push the back of my board so I could catch a wave. If I caught the wave I would either face plant off the front of the board, or try to stand and fall. I would always end up getting pushed close to shore and my journey back to the group would start again. We’ve gone to three different surf spots in Zihuatanejo and Ixtapaa: Playa Linda, La Salidta and El Rancho. I’ve only been able to surf at Playa Linda. When we went to La Salidita I stepped on a broken shell and punctured the bottom of my left foot. I decided to get it bandaged and duct-taped and go back in but it hurt too much for me to continue surfing. So I got back out of the water. It ended up getting infected so I couldn’t go in the water for two days. Once I got back home it started to improve to the point of catching waves on my own and having as much trouble getting out overall my surfing experience has been very fun. Being able to challenge myself physically and see improvements and having an amazing sense of calm and peace while floating out there, have been great. I feel that this experience will give me confidence in my recovery and will be a memory that I hold on to the rest of my life. 

 - B2B Resident 

Cultural Immersion

I came to Mexico not knowing how to speak any Spanish aside from simple numbers and random words. Now at the end of my stay here I've learned enough to order food, shop and potentially make my way home if I was to get lost. Our Spanish teacher Shirley is a really nice lady who goes to great lengths to make sure we have fun at the same time learning Spanish. Our classes usually consisted of doing work sheets to learn proper grammar and simple verbs and then writing sentences with what we learned. Everyone else knew some Spanish, so I was always able to have my questions answered, which helped me to learn a lot more. Shirley also teaches English at a local school so she would bring over her students so we could have natural conversations to help each other learn. She would also meet with us after our 12 Step meetings and walk around downtown with us to show us good, local shops food. Her other students would come meet us too while we were out with her. In two of our classes she brought the supplies to make Guacamole and taught us how to make it and we ate it during class. Another class she brought over supplies to make tostadas, which we made and ate while we watched a movie in Spanish. Having class with Shirley has probably been the most fun I’ve ever had learning a language. I’m really glad Roy decided to include these into the trip because without them my time down here would have been much more difficult. I hope that at some point in the near future I’m able to continue to learn Spanish because it is a very useful language to know, especially if you plan on visiting Mexico, which I really hope I do later in life. 

- B2B Resident

Inspired

Mexico actually has inspired me to try taking Spanish classes or getting Rosetta Stone when I have finished the program. It scares me hearing locals talk so fast but I hope someday I’ll be able to understand it. I’ve never had the courage or commitment to ever stick through such an intimidating task such as conquering a language. It’s typical for me to start something then quit when I get frustrated just like surfing. Or I will just never try something I think I won’t be good at, but now that I’m in recovery, I ask my higher power every day to give me the courage to do the things I need to do and things that I want to achieve. I think with his help I could accomplish finishing the language. I definitely hope to keep in touch with Shirley when I’m out of the program and can email her. She seems like a great person to know if I end up coming back to visit or live for a while. I really look forward to that day and I’m very thankful for this opportunity giving surfing a chance. I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to work on myself and grow from new experiences.

Another piece of our Mexico trip involves taking Spanish language lessons every day for two hours. As an addict, I must say that school is definitely not my favorite thing in the world but the class has been beyond helpful. Our teacher Shirley teaches English at a nearby private school so she has been very patient and understanding working with us. The class has helped me immensely with ordering food at restaurants and with overall communication with locals. I took three years of Spanish in high school so the class has built on that as well as bringing back words I hadn’t used in a couple years. I really can’t imagine trying to interact with anyone here without the class. Shirley often brought ingredients and showed us how to make her authentic home- made guacamole. I not only find learning the language useful but the cultural experience we also gain is invaluable. I found it enjoyable when she brought a couple of her students, learning English to come hang with us. It was a great opportunity for all of us.

 - B2B Resident

Finding a Place in the Water

My time here in the Ixtapa area has been awesome way to get out of my element and to enjoy things I wouldn’t in the midst of addiction. I never thought surfing could bring me so much enjoyment as well as exercise. I can’t say I have always been a fan of waking up at six a.m. but getting out on the water early and having time alone out there both soothing and meditative. It has really given me time to connect with my higher power and be thankful for the beautiful country I am in and for being alive. Our surf teacher Edgar is an awesome surfer and was extremely helpful with helping me get the hang of it. To be honest, it was very frustrating in the first few days but the guys around me weren’t giving up so I certainly wasn’t going to quit. Now that I am ten days in, shredding the waves more enjoyable than ever! It’s amazing how quick I was able to get the hang of things and sticking through the frustrations has certainly paid off. I know I will continue to surf long after I graduate from the program, especially in my hometown of Carmel although it will be a lot colder. I know if I was still in my selfish, self-seeking ways there is no way I would have kept trying. I hope to move to a hard board soon and I want to try to learn how to use a short board. My favorite place to surf has been Saladita because the waves are a lot longer rolling than Playa Linda. Even though it is harder and takes longer to get out, the wave is so worth it. I grew up surfing a little bit in Santa Barbara which has waves similar to Saladita. It was cool because it reminded me of all the fun I had with my family there. There’s definitely some guilt that comes from stealing from most my family but miss them all so much I definitely want to make amends. I’m excited to go to the ranch tomorrow now that I have a better hang of things. It’s important for me not to get extremely angry when I get stuck trying to paddle out. I have found that I get angry really fast and my program seems to go right out the door. My frustration and anger have always been tough for me to overcome I am definitely glad that I have.

- B2B Resident 

Diaries of a B2B Resident: Mexico, Surfing and Kayacking

Surfing Take Two

To me, learning to surf is comparable to learning to golf. Those who know how to do it make it look easy, but it’s not. Like golf, there are many minute details involved, and each skill builds on others. Ultimately, the individual needs to keep trying until he gets a feel for the various parts. There is only so much that can be taught. Like most things, practice is the key. Learning to surf, within the framework of Back2Basics has been key for me. We’ve gone out every day, gotten up early each day, and us as a group have encouraged and motivated each other. Edgar our coach, taught us the basics and quickly let us get into the water. He makes a point to spend time with each of us individually as we are all at different stages of progress. He is also a respected local, which gives our group credibility wherever we go. There’s an unwritten etiquette to this sport and because we’re with Edgar, the more experienced surfers seem pretty welcoming and forgiving. For me, it’s been a tough sport to start at age twenty-nine, but I love it and see myself doing what I can to continue my learning. Unlike many of the sports I played as a kid, this is one for people of all ages, it’s not to hard on the body, and it provides a natural high. Nothing feels quite like catching, dropping in and riding a wave. After getting the basics down three months ago when I came to Zihuatinejo last, I was hoping to pick up where I left off. It hasn’t been that easy. I’m on a different board and the waves are bigger and more powerful. This time around, it’s been a totally new set of challenges, frustrating at times, but I just keep at it. I just try to have faith that if I don’t give up, it will eventually and over the course of the past two weeks, it has. The feeling of successfully catching and riding one wave washes all of the frustration away and reinvigorates my mind and body.

 Zihuatinejo is a great place for surfers of all levels, and I think it’s a particularly great place to learn. Playa Linda is where we get our feet under us. The waves aren’t too strong or tall, and they’re consistent, plus it’s a local beach and isn’t overcrowded. La Saladita is more of a tourist break; it’s consistent and has long, low rolling waves where we can really start to get the feel. Then there’s El Rancho, my favorite, where it’s bigger and more powerful, but clean and rolling. I look forward to coming back on my own to continue learning.  

- B2B Resident

Learning the Language

Without Back2Basics, I would likely never have ventured down to this part of Mexico. The culture, the surroundings and the surf spots have all made this one of my favorite places in the world. My desire to return has motivated me and my friends to learn the language. Our daily Spanish classes, taught by a local, have been a great way to learn many nuances. Shirley, our instructor, provides structure to our lessons, but she’s also willing to encourage going on tangents that interest us. I was here with a different group three months previous and we were all beginners, so we started with the absolute basics. This group already has a pretty good grasp on the language, so we’ve been able to get into some of the more intermediate or advanced stuff.

Shirley puts a stress on conversation, and has brought some of her friends to class so that we can talk with them. Slowly but surely, I can feel the language barrier melting away. I feel totally comfortable ordering food, asking directions and just getting around in general. My friend and I have already committed to each other that we will continue our Spanish education when we get back to the states.

I spent many years learning French and as I grew older, didn’t find it that useful. Having worked for many years in the restaurant business and living in the southwest, I wish I had started learning Spanish at a much younger age. Through learning French and Spanish, I have also gotten a much better grasp on my English. The trick, however, in learning a language is to avoid thinking in my native tongue and then translating directly to the other language. More often those translations don’t carry the correct meaning, and it’s extremely difficult to engage in a conversation where that kind of mental process is needed. It’s frustrating and difficult to get to a place of comfort, but it’s also humbling, which is healthy for recovering the nature of my addiction. I’ve been surprised, as well by how well other cultures understand English. There are many exports down here from America and Canada, so the culture has adjusted a bit accordingly. One could survive down here with no understanding of the language, but it’s much richer with some insight and understanding of the culture.

- B2B Resident 

Conquering Fears

 

For the past four weeks we have been taking a white water kayaking class and preparing to take a trip down the San Juan River. I think this trip is going to be extremely exciting and going to teach me some valuable lessons I will need in sobriety and help me realize some things about myself. When we started this class I was really nervous about how well I would do in a kayak. I had a lot of fears about getting injured or struggling on the river, but these have been fading as I progress through the class. We started the class learning about kayaks and practicing exiting the kayak if it flips upside down in the river. Being attached to a boat while under water is a scary and uncomfortable thing at first, but I got used to it after some practice. In our next class we learned how to paddle properly and how to use your kayak to rescue someone who has flipped over so they don’t have to exit their boat. I feel like this is a good exercise to help us work as a team and to look out for one another. Our third class was more practice on paddling and flipping yourself over with the help of another kayaker as well as learning how to slap the water with a paddle to keep from flipping over. The last class we took was the one where I showed the most improvement and gained more confidence in going down the river. In this class we practiced the technique to prevent yourself from flipping, but we also learned how to flip back over using your body and a paddle. I was scared about learning how to flip, thinking I wasn’t going to be strong enough to do it, but I soon realized everything we had been learning were all steps to doing the flip and that strength had little to do with it. In the end the teacher said I was one of the better students at flipping which gave a lot of confidence in my abilities and made me way more excited for the trip. We have our last class in two days and we leave for the trip the next day and I’m really excited to try all I’ve learned on the river.

- B2B Resident 

Diaries of a B2B Resident

While we're loving the winter sports here in Flagstaff, we can't help but ache for the fun in the sun planned for our semi-annual cultural immersion trip to Mexico this spring. Bring on the heat and waves! Meanwhile, to hold us over, we wanted to share some resident journal entries from our last trip. We were amazed how all of the residents took to the surfing, culture, food and language. This particular resident had a knack for beautifully and honestly explaining his trip and time spent on the beaches of Ixtapa. We can't wait to return to see our latest group reap the benefits!

Blog posted by Carly Robertson
B2B PR Coordinator/Web Content Editor

Learning Spanish

     I grew up learning French in school, and developed a love for languages. Although French wasn’t terribly practical it also helped me appreciate the nuances of different cultures, their humor and different values and ideals. Looking back I wish I had learned Spanish. After living in L.A. and working in restaurants, it would have been much more useful. Many of my friends in L.A. and Nashville are Mexican and I’ve grown to love the food and culture. This is my first time south of the border and my appreciation has grown a hundred fold. The coast is beautiful, the people are incredibly nice and the city of Zihuatanejo, Ixtapa  has a great buzz. I can’t wait to come back, but before I do, I would like to get a better handle on the Language. Our Spanish teacher, Shirley (after Shirley Temple) is a Mexican local who teaches English and French. Her grasp of languages is evident; she’s incredibly kind and understands the Back2Basics program very well. She’s straight forward and values her sobriety as well. My understanding of Romance Languages, through French, has helped me greatly in grasping the basics of Spanish. The sentence structure and many of the words are predictably similar. The pronunciation is quite different, but I’m getting the hang of it and developing an ear for it.

     So far we’ve learned basic verbs and their conjugations, some cursory sentence structure, the alphabet, numbers and basic vocabulary. Yesterday we learned the basics of ordering food, and forming questions. I’ve noticed that I have begun understanding bits and pieces and with a bit more practice would feel comfortable getting around down here on my own.

     Last night we met up with Shirley after our Wednesday night 12 step meeting.  She introduced us to a couple of her students and we were able to get some real practice. At first I thought it might be really awkward, but it wound up being a lot of fun and a great exercise in getting comfortable using what we’ve learned. Her students even asked us some questions in English and we responded in Spanish. After that she took us to one of her favorite restaurants for tamales, enchiladas, and tacos. I felt comfortable ordering my food, changing my order and reading the menu. The waiter was patient and friendly and the tamales were excellent. For dessert we went to another spot for Eskimos, which are like airy milkshakes. I’m coming back for sure, hopefully soon.

Surf n’ Turf

     This experience, surfing here in Mexico, has been life changing. For me, it’s another activity that I hope to continue after this trip. Furthermore, it’s quite challenging, and our focused efforts over the past week and a half have yielded substantial results. I’ve made noticeable improvements each day, and have been able to build on those the next day. This sort of practice gives me more faith and confidence in my abilities to learn new things. Before sobriety I would have had no patience for a sport like surfing… there are so many subtle nuances and physical strains, but once I pushed through those, I have been able to enjoy it.

      Our teacher, Eduardo (Edgar), is a great surfer himself as well as a skilled teacher. He didn’t bog us down with too much technique or too many suggestions at first. He just showed us the basics and took us to Playa Linda, a forgiving place to learn, for some trial by fire.

       I had attempted to surf before, but those attempts mostly amounted to biting off more than I could chew and falling hard. I had a healthy respect for the sport going into the trip. The first thing I had to learn was how to catch a wave. Many people say that this is the hardest part. It’s certainly the most essential. Being able to watch the horizon and gauge incoming waves is a skill honed only through practice and experience. I quickly learned that I didn’t want the wave crashing right behind or on top of me. In surfing less is almost always more. It’s all about economy of motion, timing and balance. Once I had a better eye for choosing waves, Edgar helped me get a better feel for catching them correctly. I’d point myself towards the beach and paddle as soon as the water under me started pulling back. At first, he’d give me a little push to ensure I’d catch it, but quickly I got the hang of it. My next challenge is cutting into the wave so I can actually ride it, instead of just dropping in and going straight.

       In the past week and a half, we’ve surfed some amazing spots. We started out at Playa Linda, and once we all got a bit more comfortable, we drove north to La Saladita. There we cough long rolling waves that one could ride for over a minute. For a challenge we drove an hour south of Ixtapa to Loma Bonita, where the waves were steep and extremely powerful. They snapped Keegan’s board in half on his first run, and were too challenging for me to catch. I can’t wait to return.

 

Record Freezing Temps Make for Better B2B Outdoor Adventures

By Carly Robertson
B2B PR Coordinator and Web Content Editor
Flagstaff, AZ  January 31, 2013

Mid-January the Arizona Daily Sun reported record freezing temperatures for the Flagstaff, AZ community, which has left Back2Basics Sober Living residents and staff with their best season of winter outdoor sports since the treatment center's inception.

"Starting Friday and forecast through Tuesday, the five-day average temperature (lows vs. highs) will be 8.7 degrees, and the average high will be 21.6 degrees. That makes for the coldest five-day stretch so far this century and since at least 1990, according to the Weather Service." reported the AZ Daily Sun on January 13.

"It has been a great couple of weeks with practically 40 inches of snow to play in," said owner and CEO Roy DuPrez.

DuPrez has worked closely with the Outdoor Adventure Supervisor Chase Christensen to redirect the weekly health and fitness plan to include frequent trips to the Northern Arizona Snowbowl to cross country ski and snowboard.

Residents are provided with the gear and educated on safety for every sport. Within the Flagstaff community institutions such as Ski Haus and Northern Arizona University has supported these endeavors by providing sports equipment and Wilderness First Responder Training to staff and residents.

"We are fortunate to live in such a diverse climate where we get to see our residents take to both summer and winter activities," added DuPrez. "It really exposes them to a broad range of positive and actives things they can bring into their lives post-Back2Basics."

From Our Kitchen to Yours: Breakfast Burritos

Back2Basics Culinary Director, Kathy is sharing the inside scoop about what's cooking in the B2B kitchen. Throughout recovery at B2B, residents learn the ins and outs of cooking clean and healthy in the kitchen -- everything from professional knife skills to various cooking methods to seasoning and flavoring. We are happy to share the wonderful recipes that are cooked and eaten weekly!

 

Breakfast Burrito

INGREDIENTS

Pan Spray

• 2    Whole Fresh Eggs, scrambled

• 3    Slices of bacon, ham or Sausage, diced and cooked

• ¼    Cup diced cooked potato

• ¼     Cup shredded cheese ( your choice)

• 2    Tbls. salsa

• 1    12” Flour Tortilla

 

DIRECTIONS

  Preheat nonstick 8” pan after spraying. Scramble eggs and add to pan.  As eggs begin to cook, pull them from sides and toss gently. Begin to mix with the remaining ingredients. Heat the tortilla in a skillet.  When warm, begin to place cooked ingredients (eggs, meats, potato and cheese) on top of tortilla.  Begin to roll and wrap by rolling forward and folding sides in until ingredients are completely wrapped.  Use salsa to taste.

 

2012: B2B's Most Successful Year Yet

 Carly Robertson

B2B PR Coordinator/Online Content Editor

Flagstaff, AZ December 31, 2012

Over the 2012 year Back2Basics has consistently housed the most, young male addicts since the program’s inception more than two and a half years ago. Spring 2013 will only make Back2Basics Outdoor Adventures’ third year in long-term sober living.

“I attribute Back2Basics success this year to its improvements within the programs, the hiring on of new staff and by recognizing the importance of building a strong online presence,” said Carly Robertson Back2Basics PR Coordinator and Web Content Editor.

Robertson constructed a year-long re-haul for Back2Basics’ online presence – new website interface, YouTube channel, blog and building a social media network.

“It was important to me to voice the Back2Basics institution in a consistent and positive way. Mostly because the program is just that – consistently successful and extremely positive for these young men,“ said Robertson.



In addition to creating a cohesive online brand, founder and CEO Roy DuPrez hired more staff to efficiently meet the individual needs of every resident. New Outdoor Adventure staff has made it possible to hike, swim, camp, practice yoga and kayak in more locations. Additions to the therapy team have improved group and independent counseling sessions.

“2012 has been an awesome year for Back2Basics,” said Roy DuPrez. “My goal was to make ourselves known even more so in the sober community and in our modest town of Flagstaff.”

Now Back2Basics holds a professional relationship with four successful businesses in Flagstaff - Salsa Brava, Fat Olives, Late For the Train and Old Town Creperie – all of which were founded and are owned by sober entrepreneurs. All four businesses have mentored Back2Basics residents within this past year either during their program or post graduation.

“Back2Basics is here to help young men turn their lives around using holistic treatment, life-skill building and good old-fashioned Mother Nature,” said Robertson. “And it’s working.”

Nationally Renowned Restaurateur Hires B2B Resident

Carly Robertson

B2B PR Coordinator/Online Content Editor

Flagstaff, AZ  December 29, 2012

Twenty-six-year Flagstaff, AZ entrepreneur and owner of local hotspot dinning Salsa Brava and Fat Olives, John Conley, hires on Back2Basics Outdoor Adventures resident Robert Marini, as a cook. This partnership has further developed the Back2Basics mentor program.

Knowing Conley’s respectable influence both in the sober community and Flagstaff in general Back2Basics founder and CEO Roy DuPrez anticipated the partnership.“Roy came to me with a list of questions about my sobriety, business and how Back2Basics could partner with my restaurants,” said Conley. “[Marini] now has three weeks under his belt [at Fat Olives] and has become someone we can rely on.”

Marini with the help of Conley, DuPrez and Back2Basics transitional coordinator, Spencer Gharrity is only the second resident in the program’s history to balance a paid position and the program. 

“Right now we are focusing on self-sufficiency in all aspects of his life like hitting 12 step meetings, time management and taking care of domestic responsibilities at the house,” said Gharrity.

Due to his position at Fat Olives, Marini can’t make the outdoor adventures trips – during the day he works the program and at night he attends his work shifts.

“Many of these young men that I’ve sponsored [in sobriety] are looking for a leg up, and to build some confidence -- try on their new pair of glasses,” said Conley. “Robert was ready to get out in the real world, in an environment that’s not surrounded by sobriety.”

Back2Basics has provided the tools and life skill building necessary to become a positive, contributing citizen in society, even prior to program completion.

“There’s a point in your sobriety that you have to get back into the real world, and that process should happen gradually,” said Conley. “I think Roy’s contacts within the community, along with Back2Basics, give these young men that opportunity.”

Diaries of a B2B Resident

Here is a raw and honest look into the sober journey of our residents. We have chosen to honor and respect their anonymity throughout this learning process. We thank them for being willing to share the highs and lows of working this 12 Step, adventurous program known as Back2Basics. Let their stories take you away...

Boating Outdoor Adventure in the Blue Ridge Reservation.

A New Day, a New Realization 

I think that I have been a pretty good worker my whole life. Working has never really been a problem for me.  I like doing stuff with my hands. Throughout my stay at Back2Basics I’ve learned that you don’t do just a “okay” at a given task, or do it simply because your boss said so.  I’ve learned that doing things for myself helps me feel good at the end of day. I’ve also learned that to do everything to the best of my ability. I have learned a lot about my relationship with drugs, and have come to the conclusion that enjoyed the way they made me feel, which is nothing; when I am abusing drugs nothing else in the world matters. I wish that I was not an addict, but I’ve realized that I have a drug problem and this allergy and obsession will probably last forever. I just need to focus on the 12 Steps and remind myself where drugs take me if I have even one line, hit or drink -- it takes me back to living in my car, screwing over all of my friends and tearing my. I know I do not want that anymore. Now if I feel the urge to use a drug I have people that I can call who are my true friends, who do not want to see me use again.

Outdoor Adventure spent hiking the AZ trails.

An Eye Opener

*Solo – A “solo” is an Outdoor Adventure-focused repercussion given to residents who have abused their privileges, acted out or broken a Back2Basics rule.

 

This blog is about the way I was acting in the program, and how I had a real eye opener. When I was in the program I didn’t realize that I had to do chores and sobriety to the best of my ability for me to feel good only for myself, at the end of the day. I ended up going on a solo* for a couple of different reasons, but at first I wasn’t sure why I was going in the first place. What I did know was that I had made a bad decision, or actually a couple of bad decisions. First I was slacking in my chores around the house, and then I demoralized a homeless man by throwing him a cookie because he held a sign that read that had “anything helps.” I’m not sure why I did that. It’s not really me. The act will definitely be one of my regrets as I anticipate Steps 4 and 5 in the program. I’ve disrespected most of the staff by not doing what they’ve asked of me by commenting rudely or arguing. I feel a lot better knowing that my behavior will first change within, which will translate on the outside.